Pippopotamus.

I can't change my main blog to the one I use the most, so I changed this one.

nosdrinker:

this little girl came in today and pointed at me and said “why does that man have hair”

One of the reasons I don’t miss my hair. Just about every day at work I would have to hear some kid as “is that a boy or a girl” about me and their parents would always give me dirty looks and say something like “it’s a boy… I think”.

I occasionally fuck up and post on this blog but my real blog is imapippopotamus so follow that one instead.

  • nice guy: Excuse me miss, would you care to join me for a night on the town, if only for a moment? i cant stand possibly wandering around with the thought of me never even attempting to ask your beautiful, ravishing, and stunning self out, so would you?
  • girl: no thanks im not really interested but thank you :-)
  • nice guy: well then fuck you too you stupid slut you're not even all that good looking do you know how hard it is for people like YOU to come across someone like ME? ? im fit, im handsome, i have a substantial amount of money, and i TREAT WOMEN AMAZINGLY! all of you bitches are all the same god none of you idiots ever realize when something good is placed in front of you. im a NICE GUY!!

selmabouvier:

i haven’t been to subway in 2 years cos the woman went “what bread do you want” and i went “yeah”

(Source: paulbearer, via itsvondell)

I changed my URL

Tumblr won’t let me change my damn main blog so I said fuck it and changed the URL on this blog, since I’m not using it for its intended purpose anyhow. So, hopefully this both clears up the confusion with my two blogs/adds a whole new layer of confusion! Yay! And I’m still not really going to use this blog, so follow imapippopotamus.tumblr.com if you aren’t already for my ACTUAL blog.

bonitachingadera asked: haaha im so happy for you! you deserve to be happy and in love

Thank you! I most certainly am both.